So, I think I figured out a way for us to pay off a significant chunk of debt this summer- a pay off that would lift a significant mental burden from us. But, to do it, we'll have to be diligent and disciplined: two words that feel far from the carefree tone of summer.
And, I think that's what gets us into trouble: the desire for carefree, for being free of care, or worry, or, discipline. Basically, we want to be royalty. Bad royalty who don't have to think about the peasants. And we all know where that gets you: beheaded.
So, in the spirit of not losing our heads, I'm equally anxious and excited to put this unexpected, but realistic plan in action. I realize that every little bit matters. The decision not to drive through Starbucks for an iced latte on the way to my haircut matters. The daily stuff matters. And this is why paying off debt and getting healthy (that's p.c. for "looking good in shorts and a tank top again") is hard. It's now. It's today. It's diligence on the way to school when we're so tired that we can almost justify a $4.00 cup of ice with a splash of milk and a pinch of chai spice. It's driving on knowing we're just that much closer to a home we're excited to bring the kids to. It's taking a walk tonight (okay, slow stroll) even though I just want to go to fall asleep.
On that walk I saw the Sound and the Olympics on a perfect sunny Northwest summer night. It was so beautiful I understood why the depressed find suicide easier on sunny days: it's just too painful to face perfection when your own life feels so far away from it. Even worse, it's hard to reach for those exciting, but plausibly unreachable goals when failing feels devastating (even though, yes, I know, it wouldn't be).
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